Faith is a journey, a path that has to be travelled together, a path that must be travelled with patience, with love.”

— Pope Francis

I wonder how many millions of words have already been written about Pope Francis? I wonder how many more will be written now he’s passed? Well here’s a few more.

I don’t mind sharing this but I’m not a religious person, I don’t follow any kind of organized set of tick boxes and I can’t truthfully ever see me feeling differently. I also don’t mind sharing that I find the death of Pope Francis really, really sad.

Going back to the start of the story, it began in primary school with the death of Pope Paul VI in 1978. I vividly remember seeing the white smoke exiting the chimney from the Sistine Chapel as Pope John Paul I entered his papacy. Mrs Maisey, our teacher, told us all about what happens next and I think I remember this because every time I saw the new Pope on our ridiculously small television he was smiling, he was smiling and I was young, he looked like a nice man and wasn’t frightening.

It seemed the world agreed although others in the Vatican saw John Paul I as an intellectual lightweight, I mean how dare they elect a Pope with a smile and humility right?

Not long (33 days) after finishing off learning all about Popes and how they’re elected our primary school class was told that the lovely smiley Pope had died and all the conclave election shenanigans were about to start again.

That’s what sparked my interest, its was lathered in history and in truth, it was all a bit secretive. What 7 year old boy isn’t into a bit of history and intrigue? A ridiculously long time then passed until 45 years later I rolled into Rome for the very 1^st time, eager to sample the Aperol Spritz, the Quattro Formaggi pizza and see all these “famous places” I remembered so well from my youth and our tiny TV.

In those 45 years we had experienced the global roadshow and soaring heights of popularity that came with Pope John Paul II. We witnessed him globe hop from Pope mobile to Pope mobile, a giant of a man to be followed by the much sterner looking successor in the shape of Pope Benedict. Benedict got the job no one wanted to do, follow John Paul II

When Benedict resigned Pope Francis finally appeared as the cardinal’s choice, having been beaten in the Benedict election a few years earlier. This smiling and humble man met, laughed and gave the thumbs up to throngs of eager followers from all over the world, spending time talking, laughing and filling pages with millions more smiles.

He broke tradition in so many ways, choosing silver instead of gold for his piscatory ring, he lived in the House of St Martha instead of taking residence in the Apostolic palace, he refused the Papal cape, he kept the same cross as he had as a cardinal and was just different. Legend says he was alleged to have snuck out of the Vatican at night at times, dressed as a regular priest to give food to the homeless. He also didn’t expect to be elected and said when asked “…well now I have to get on with it”

He photobombed people in St Peters Square, worked as a bouncer in early life, loved to dance the tango and once told a Nun that as the Pope he would kiss her as long as she promised not to bite him when the crowd she was in got rowdy.

It’s this kind of thing that helped me relate to him, not because he was a distant religious figure but because he seemed to be a compassionate, funny and real human being.

Whereas the consensus is that Pope Francis was a liberal, his views on mercy over Judgement, climate change and inequality, a more open view on LGBTQ+ issues and his general stance on inclusiveness withstanding there were parts of Pope Francis that said the opposite. He didn’t change church doctrine over such controversial topics as same sex marriage, abortion and female priests and was rooted in traditional Catholic theology.

However Pope Francis shifted the mindset for me from rules to relationship and he didn’t demand strict belief that sat in a specific box. He invited people to believe in something, importantly to believe in each other. 

Do you think the Cardinals knew this when Francis was elected? I hope not, what fabulous chaos must have spewed through the Vatican halls as they realized who they had elected.

When he was elected in 2013 many of the cardinals thought they were getting a gentle caretaker, a humble man who would keep the church steady after the shock of Pope Benedict’s resignation. What they got was a spiritual curveball. A soft speaking Argentine who cooked his own meals and started rearranging the furniture in the Catholic church literally and metaphorically. He spoke openly about the poor, the marginalized and the environment. He didn’t change doctrine but he changed the tone of it and personally that shift reached me more than any set of rules could. When I visited Rome I saw faith not as a set of beliefs to tick off but as something living and breathing and deeply human. It was enough to make me buy a necklace from the Vatican shop, ask Angie to put it on me and I’ve never taken it off to this day (Except for an MRI scan) I also bought it as it reminded me of the Frightened Rabbit 2 bar cross. 

I don’t agree with everything Pope Francis said but you don’t need to. For a long time I thought faith meant you had to sign on the dotted line and accept every word without question but Francis was this figure of faith and leadership that spoke with humility and openness to the messiness of real life. It made me realize something simple but powerful, it’s okay to wrestle with faith and it’s okay to have doubts, disagreements and questions.

Faith for me isn’t about perfect agreement, it’s about connection, it’s about trust, it’s about staying open even when everything in you wants to close off. It doesn’t matter what that faith is in, it’s having it that is important. Pope Francis taught me that you can believe in something without having all the answers, and that sometimes, faith grows stronger not despite the questions, but because of them. The key is for us to believe in ourselves.

As I say I didn’t agree with everything but you know something? I learned that I don’t need to agree all the time and when I don’t agree I don’t need to tell people I feel they are wrong, Why should I? I felt that Francis was the type of person who would happily sit and talk, agree to disagree and you would still love the guy as you walked away.

It’s hard not to feel like the world’s been cheated out of more time with him. Francis wasn’t perfect, he didn’t pretend to be but he was a rare kind of leader. He was someone who made people feel seen, heard, and loved and we need more like him.

The person who steps into his shoes has an impossibly tough job ahead, not just to lead, but to carry on the gentleness, the humanity, the humour that made Francis so deeply loved. I can’t help but think of the Vatican’s request to stop taking selfies as he lies in state and I’m sure he would be smiling. Not out of ego, but that people still wanted to be close to him, even in his final moment. That’s the kind of legacy he leaves behind. It’s not blind belief, but belonging and it’s not just doctrine, but heart.

As I say I feel we have been cheated out of time with Francis, we needed longer as a World with him in it, in a position of influence and to remind us that humility, at the end, is all that is needed.

Rest in Peace Pope Francis and thank you